I glanced in the mirror for the millionth time.

The moon was peeking through my openbedroom window, reflecting in the tall mirror as if to say she sees me. She sees me pain. My shame. My family's anguish and turmoil.

But she lets it happen.

My nausea had subsided for the time being, thankfully my mother gave me one of her little blue pills the packdoctor prescribes for her nerves.

We are all about herbal medicine, us being wolves. But sometimes in the rare cases like my mother, where her anxiety is crippling, we use the human medications. Tonight for which im thankful.

My mind and body felt at ease now. Its as if im just here. Not caring about anything more than the right now, and that happens to be my appearance for the dinner that i have worried over all afternoon.

I gazed at the simple red sundress i wore with my black mary Jane flats and decided i looked okay. We dont tend to dress up in this pack. Only for weddings or funerals or mating ceremonies. A simple sundress was plenty. I didnt feel like caring if i made an impression.. but i wanted to feel pretty tonight.

Maybe it was that pill..

I know it was that pill.

Pulling my wavy hair to the side, i decided i needed a swipe of khol on the top of my lids and a rose stain on my lips. Something different.

"Perfect" my voice came out a bit slow.

Everything felt slow.

A knock on my door jolted me out of my sluggish movements, sending adrenaline through my veins."Come in" i sing songed.

Nic poked his head in with furrowed brows.. normally id say he seemed confused.

"Uh. Nova are you alright? Whoa. You look really nice. Its just dinner. Whats with the dress?" His eyes inspected me head to toe, questionably.

Feeling carefree, i waltzed to the door, smiling ear to ear, feeling floaty. "Im great! But whats wrong with the dress? Too much? I just wanted to seem like im fine.. available and fine." I smirked

"Did mom give you one of her pills?" He eyed me accusingly.

I scoffed, feigning some emotion i couldnt really think of right now. "Of course ... she did! Haha!" I couldnt help but to laugh especially with his worried eyes scanning my face as if i would embarass myself tonight . Or him.

I was freaking him out.. time to take this down a notch and be serious. Just because my very existence has been shattered doesn't mean i can forget about it all completely. I took Nic's hand, studying his forrest green eyes with my own serious blue ones.

"Hey nic. Ill be fine. Seriously... i needed this. Ive been throwing up all evening with worry about tonight. And.. i just wanted to look pretty for a change instead of skinny, gaunt, and pale. Is that alright? Besides we have been cast to the other side of the table anyway." I could detect the underlying contempt in my words as could he.

Nic nodded in understanding and pushed the door open so i could see that he was wearing dark denims and a black button up with rolled up sleeves, a grin spread on his handsome face.

"Good. Because i wanted to look nice too and now im glad im not the only one. Its laundry day. Thats my excuse." He chuckled. His laughter was contagious as he brought me into his arms, squeezing tightly.

"Oh little sister. We will be okay. I promise." My eyes caught the moon shining through the window. It seemed as if she were winking at me .. maybe everything would be ok.Nic gave me a quick peck to my cheek before taking my hand, pulling me with him out the door and down the stairs.

***

We met mom and dad at the pack dining hall. Since dad is a Beta, he is pretty much always with Alpha Blake and mom always goes early to help in the kitchen.

"Oh my gosh. We have name card placements?" I whispered to Nic in horror. They were taking this 'separation' thing seriously.

"Apparently everyone does" he whispered back.

I glanced around the large room, seeing only the head table, where we would sit, had placemt cards. It seems that our situation has caused a pack upheaval in hierarchy... because only higher status wolves sat at the head table and that included my family and i.

We had entered before most of the pack with the exception of Alpha Blake and his family which included Deacon and Zaryn.. and what do you know. The woman that stole my life right out from under me was sat right across from Z. At least she wasnt next to him.

His eyes met mine and widened when noticed my appearance. A hunger in those eyes making my skin tingle and that low current of electricity that always happens whenever his eyes fell on my flesh.. i shivered at the sheer pleasure his stare brought with it.

Shaking myself out of the trance, I shifted my gaze to Deacon who had a hardened his eyes on me as he slid back from the table, scraping the chair legs against the floor and whispered to his dad. Alpha Blake noded his head and Deacon made his way to the end where Nic and I sat side by side, myself on the very end.

He isnt supposed to be near me!

He must have asked his dad for permission just now... but from the look on Zaryn's face, he wasnt too happy.

I watched Deacon without a care as he sat by me at the very end, scooting close so he could whisper. I could smell a bit of cologne coming from his skin.. he never wears that stuff. We have sensitive noses.

"Nova. Where the hell have you been? Why did i have to find out from your dad that you moved back home?" His glare penetrated me and his angry whispers suggested at how hurt he was that i had abandoned him, but in the state i was in at the moment, it did nothing to my nerves. I hadnt been a good friend to Deacon and i felt bad about that but i have my own things going on. Everyone seems to forget that when they want something from me.

I sighed. "D.. its been hard living there. You arent even supposed to be seen with me. Its hard sneaking around.. covering our scents. I just wanted to be home with Nic. Im sorry. We are both having a tough time right now.. im sorry i didnt tell you first but. I just decided before i went to sleep last night that i was going to move out this morning and that was that." I tried to explain.

He studied me as if noticing my appearance just now. His eyes turned soft and a small smile appeared. "I understand Nova but.. im still your best friend. And it may be hard.. sneaking off with me and hiding your scent.. but its harder when you are doing it with two wolves rather than one." He gave me a sad knowing stare before getting up and trudging back to his seat with his hands shoved in his pockets.

I sat there, staring at the place he was sitting, now empty. My lips parted slightly with my pulse quickening.

He knows I've been meeting with Zaryn...

He knows.

My skin pickled with that electric sensation of Zaryn staring at our exchange.. staring at me. I wanted to hide somewhere. Preferably in my room.