"Hey. Instead of all the thinking.. lets imagine. How it would have been if I had come home... unscathed." He urged with a boyish grin for my answer.

Pursing my lips in a smile, i nodded. "Okay. You first."

"Alright." He put one arm behind his head while the other toyed with my hand, locking it with his. Such a large hand that my smaller one rested in. He was 4 years older after all.

"When i stepped out of the truck, and smelled your scent.. that enticing smell of lemon grass and honeysuckle.. a hint of vanilla..when our eyes locked and i felt enthralled.. my wolf going crazy when you said the words "mate", i would have stepped right up to you... put my nose in your neck and inhaled.. i would have taken your face in my hands, pressing my lips to yours for our first kiss while everyone cheered around us... then.. of course.. my dad would have ushered everyone away while we stood there.. just taking each other in. At that moment, we would have let our wolves take over without concern and i would have taken you in my arms.. kissing and licking your neck until i found the spot i wanted to mark you for everyone to see.. and that's when i would have done it.. i would have let my teeth slide in your beautiful skin as you writhed with euphoria in my arms, your soul binding to mine... id stay that way for moments.. relishing in the feeling.. then remove myself before picking you up in my arms and carrying you to my home. No one would have bothered us.. and i almost did mark you that night if my brain hadnt started working. your turn" he sighed dreamily, turning so his eyes were on mine.

I couldnt help the goofy smile that split into a grin at his fantasy of our first time meeting as mates. Clearing my throat, i closed my eyes. "After you had me in your cabin, we would be experiencing that rush of heat everyone speaks of. As soon as we had entered, i would have wanted you. You, being the gentleman would kiss me sweetly-"

"Actually baby, in that instance, no i would not. I would have tried to devour you." He chuckled. I swatted his chest . "My story. Hush."

"Yes ma'am " he grinned..

"Like i was saying.. you would have tried to devour me.." i felt his chest rumble with laughter. "And we would strip from our clothes.. you'd lie on the bed with me under you, being the dominant wolf you are, and we would make love. It would have been so passionate.. so blissful.. yet primal. Biting into each others skin.. you'd sink your teeth back inside my mark, holding me to you as you would have shown me your neck, lifting my head up, urging me to. My teeth would sink into your skin once id found my spot, and my arms and legs would lock you to me as we rode the wave together.. our souls combining as one, in more than one aspect." I ended, breathlessly. Finding myself aroused once more. And surprised that I was so open with him.. as if we talked this way all the time.

I waited, but i could hear nothing but Zaryn's breathing. When i opened my eyes to look over at him, i saw he was mesmerized.. lips parted, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. This made my heart palpitate.. those shards mending together, letting blood flow through, reviving the massive organ as it beat.. looking into his eyes.... thats all i needed.

A male never cries. Especially an alpha male. But when it comes to their mates, they will cry like a baby. Its a bond.. a trust that no one can come through.

"What?" I felt like i had said something wrong.

His hand cupped my cheek, bringing his plush lips to mine. "That was beautiful.. i wish so badly i could turn back time and have that momemt with you. But i fuçked it all up. I need you Nova. I need this to be over with so i can be with you. If you'd have me. I would try every damn day for the rest of my life to make everything up to you.... as i keep saying" His last words were rasped as more tears fell. I brought my arms around him and just held on.

"I wish we could turn back time too.." a sad sigh left my lips. "Your turn by the way." My voice was muffled against his neck.

Zaryn took a deep steadying breath. "After our souls combined.. and we could feel each others wants needs and desires, we would had finally fallen asleep, i would hold you to me through the night and before you awoke the next morning, i would have scrambled around making you breakfast. Afterwards... we would shower, only for your parents sake.. but together. Then i would escort you back to the pack house as a couple and spend the day with you.. taking walks.. doing whatever you wanted. I might would have talked you into letting me eat you out since you'd be sore. And you'd let me." I couldnt help the squeal that escaped my lips as my cheeks flushed.

"Then time would pass.. we would be together all the time. A few days later, on the day of your heat, our bonding ceremony would be held.. then afterwards, I'd take you to our home and make love to you.. claiming you all over again. And again. You'd ride your heat out with me and as years passed, the moment you decided you were ready... i would make the sweetest love to you and put a pup in your belly." His sad smile had me wanting to touch his skin.

"Then" i continued. "You'd become Alpha after a while, i would become Luna, and we would have more children... two boys and two girls. Maybe abother down the road when all our pups had grown up. We would grow old together.. have many grand pups.. and live happily ever after in each others arms." I sighed dreamily.

"Oh nova.." zaryn sighed happily. "I do love you. Even though I shouldn't tell you right now because its selfish.. but i cant hold it in. I love you. I want many pups with you. Youre so beautiful and smart. Funny too. I will never be able to express to you how much i hate myself and how sorry i am.. for all of this." His sadness seeped into me. I found that whatever he felt, woud be thrown into me as well.

My heart seemed to swell with his words. I love you.

He didnt lie. It was the truth. He did love me but i refused to say it back. It would only make it harder.

How did i become okay with all this? This was supposed to be goodbye.. not share time. The mate bond is so strong.

He was pulling me into his arms again, lips findng mine.

Soft, sweet chaste kisses. My skin was burning up and my lower half wanted more as i ground myself into his leg, saturating the material.

Soon, his kisses turned into passionate kisses with his tongue invading my mouth. I moaned as he leaned up to brace himself over me.. on hand by my head, the other skimming my side, down my curves and over my hip until he brushed the skin at the top of my thigh.

Our kiss broke and he stared down into my eyes with that love. I could feel it pouring from him. I felt it too but figured it was also lust mixing in.. making it indistinguishable.

"Nova.. i know we said nothing would happen tonight.. but.. let me taste you. Just one last time. Thats all i want. Let me bring you pleasure and taste your sweet essence.." his voice was thick as his fingers lighty grazed the inside of my thigh.

I couldnt do this.. could i?

I wouldn't do anything with him but.. i could do this one last thing right?

Im always telling myself no aroud him amd then falling for his trap every time. I did want to feel his mouth on me..

It was then i heard it..

The sound of rustling leaves below us, closest to the creek bed.

Zaryn's wide eyes snapped up to meet mine. Someone was down there.. and we were about to get caught together.. and punished...

These punishments Alpha Blake delivers are ones that scar for life.

Why oh why did i decide to listen to my body tonight?

I just wanted him to stay...

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Waaahhhhhh

I need a wahhbulance