He peered up at me, holding out the palm sized intricately carved wooden box. It was beautiful.

"I made this for you." He kept his voice low, a light blush staining his cheeks.

My lips parted slightly in surprise as i reached out and took it from his hand. Our skin touched breifly sending a delicious shiver up my arm..

The box was recently stained and lacquered.. it was small like a ring box but the detail was so magnificent.. a crecent moon carved on the lid which had tiny hinges for it to open. I stared in awe as i turned the box around.

"Its beautiful Zaryn" i breathed. "I love it. You really made it for me?" I couldnt help but to smile as i looked up into his eyes. His smile was so dazzling, it took my breath away.

"I carved it two years ago.. for you. I didnt want to seem weird because we didnt have a ... relationship like that. So i never gave it to you. But the day we came back on the lake... i stained it and finished it up. I wanted you to have it now." He explained, seeming out of sorts. He was unsure of himself... that's not like the alpha blooded Zaryn I know.

I was speechles. I glanced from the box, back to his eyes. "I - I love it Zaryn... ill treasure it forever. Thank you." I meant it. I adored home made items and this one was made with love.

He grinned breifly before becoming all serious again. "Open it when i leave. Theres something inside for you. If we are going to get out of here without anyone seeing us, we need to hurry." His eyes closed as he took in a deep breath.

My smile faded, remembering the threat at our front door. I clutched the wooden box in my hand, wanting to open it right then and there. He reached for the spray as i held back my tears from spilling again. He made me an emotional wreck.

"Close your eyes Nova." All smiles gone now, back to sadness. I did as he asked and let him spray me down with the mist that smelled of earth.

I opened my eyes when he had finished and saw him coming toward me with a purpose. His lips on mine one last time... fire in my veins making me arroused. I returned the kiss deeply but it was finished as quickly as it began. His eyes held mine, hands on my cheeks as i looked up at him

"Im going to go down, shift, and check it out. When you hear a bark, thats me letting you know its safe. If you hear a howl, then stay up here until you do hear the bark okay?" He urged me to understand.

"Okay" I whispered out, lonely and lost. A sigh as he kissed my lips goodbye before misting himself and climbing down the hatch before he looked back up at me.

"Nova. If you ever need to talk to me.. if you ever just.. need something. That hiding space where i got the box... leave a note there. We can communicate that way until things are strightened out. I love you." He breathed the last, giving me no time to respond before descending down the rungs of the treehouse.

I watched him, looking out the window as i hid in the shadows. my heart deflating.. the blood that filled its reforming image drained right out. This was goodbye for who knows how long

I felt empty.. as if my lifeline was going further and further from me because in reality, despite the way i feel aboit our situation.. he is my lifeline. Hes my mate.

I wont be with him... not while all this is happening, if ever .. but it was nice to live in the moment.. tricking myself into a small amount of bliss. if that baby comes.. i dont want to be with him. I cant. And it breaks my heart oh so badly to think that way. The one gift the moon sent for me..

It was shattered upon betrayel.

He saved himself for his mate... me. And Grace took that from me. She will always be his first.. and his burden ans shame. As much as i wanted him.. my mate.. i wouldnt sit around and watch Grace's belly grow .. i needed to move on for now.

Tears welled up in my eyes as i cried for the second or third time tonight.. but this time it was out of sheer misery. The wolf wants her mate .. despises what has happened but doesn't blame Z. She blames Grace and wants to take her out.

Im the one with more complicated emotions. I watched him shift to his wolf, the longing in my heart turning into an ache.. missing his skin on mine. I tredged back to the matress and flooped down on his side, taking in the scent on his pillow which made me cry even harder.

That was my goodbye.

Alpha said he would think of something else if the pup is born but i would just resent him if i were to be with him then..

The only way for this to work is if that pup dies. Or grace.

My heart, still damaged, the blood drained from the pieces that attempted to put themselves back together, fell instantly into a pile in my chest.. not moving. Not shards trying to lodge themselves inside me, just a pile of broken heart pieces

But he loves me.

Im so confused...

The. remembered the box he had given me. The hand carved intricate wooden box that was very special because he had carved it for me himself years ago. Sniffling I wiped the tears with my hands before opening the delicate lid of the box when I looked inside I gasped..

There lay a gold necklace from the looks of it, a locket. my favorite. I had always talked about wanting a gold locket growing up. My finger dipped into the box and pulled the delicate chain out.. it was beautiful.. so shiny.. not the dark gold i disliked.. but the lighter 14k gold i always loved. The length was just right and dangling at the bottom was a gold circle shaped locket charm the size of a quarter, maybe a bit smaller. Intricate patterns with an anchor engraved in the center, a tiny little grass green stone sat in the center... symbolic for my eyes..

It took my breath away. How could he tell me he loved me, and give me such a personal gift when we hadn't even been given a chance? How could he love me?? I cared about him but.. as far as love? I cant say that yet..

My heart raced i fumbled and opened the locket. A space for a photo on one side held a white folded up piece of paper .... and the inner lid had an inscription.

You will be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground, ill be the wings that keeps your heart in the clouds.-Z

A tiny sky blue gem sparkled underneath.

His eyes..

After reading the quote, i felt something inside me burst.

"When did you get this?" I asked myself aloud as ran my thumb across the shiny surface, emotions flowing through me stronger than the sea..

The anchor on the front... It was symbolic to this quote..

I gently removed the paper folded so small inside the locket and unfolded the many times folded paper. The script inside was done in calligraphy. I didnt know he had so much talent in arts..

It read..

I'll always be here for you, no matter what happens. You will always have my heart, no matter the time we have known about our bond .. ive loved you from afar for my whole life. When you feel like im too far away from you.. remember this .. remember you have my whole heart. Its only you. Remember what i said about our hiding spot.

Letting out a deep sob, my face scrunched up as fat tears slid down heavier as i folded up the paper and placed it back inside the locket, closing it up.

In a fit of anger and angush, i pounded my fists into the matress and put my face into the pillow, screaming.

I wanted someone to blame for taking this happiness from me. I couldnt blame Alpha.. I can't bame Z...and if im being honest, i cant blame Grace either..