Nova

I stared at the blinds as the sun crept up, rising higher and higher with each passing hour as the light took over and the moon hid itself, tucked under the other side of the world.

Sleepless nights...

I've had them before but last night all i could do was think.. cry and think. Im beginning to think this will be my life for the next eight months.

My head throbbed as the light danced bright in my bedroom. I had no plans on getting out of bed today... other than to talk to Nic whom i heard creep inside around 2am. I was home by midnight.. he however, stayed out a little later than expected. I wondered what happened with him last night..

As the light beams moved to cascade over my eyes, i rolled over with a groan, putting a pillow over my head. The darkness made my head feel better. Sound and light weren't my friends.

Although i felt utterly exhausted, i had memories of last night that brought me comfort and a little excitement... as sad is it may seem, those memories will keep me going for a while. I know it sounds pathetic.. to pine over someone i am supposed to be able to have but cant.. but that someone wanted me too.. there were just obstacles in the way..

But like i promised myself.. im going to stay strong.. stay away from him.. and go on with my life. I need a life. Not a life that revolves around what Zaryn is doing...

The smell of bacon drifted up to my room, arrousing my senses and i poked my head out to see the clock.

8:06..

Too early...

Sighing, i gave up on going back to sleep and decided to go see what was cooking. Although i havent gained all my weight back from my "episode", i was eating much better now and able to keep it down. The memories that gave me butterflies sort of helped me in that department instead of hurt me... so far so good. Lets just see how it plays out.

"Hey mom." I saw her busying herself at the stove as i rounded the corner of the stairs. Her dark hair was tidy as always.. i dont know how she does it..

She turned, giving me an empathetic smile. "Hey baby. Are you okay? You didnt come home till late last night." She came over to me and brought me into her arms for a tight hug, cheek pressed against mine.

"Ill be okay mom. Just gotta take one day at a time, ya know?" I try to cheer her up so they dont worry for me even though im tearing up inside. She held me away from her, studying me suspicioisly.

"Nova. Have you not been sleeping? You look awful sweetheart. I mean that in the nicest way possible.. those dark circles and tired eyes are always going to be noticed by your mother. Talk to me baby.. what can i fix?" She looked helpless.. always wanting to fix our problems but this was one etchasketch that couldnt be shaken.

I shook my head, a tight smile on my lips. "Theres nothing you can do mom.. its just.. sometimes i wish Zaryn was never meant to be Alpha ya know? Then he would have never had to go away for the summer.. and none of this would be happening. If Deacon was born first, all of this could have been so much better for me.... and you are correct. I didnt sleep last night.. or much the night before.. or really hardly at all the past week.." i sighed, putting my head on her shoulder, letting her rub my back.

A sort of greif over came her.. a sadness i couldnt describe. "Im so sorry Nova.. im so so sorry." She whispered in my ear. I scrunched my face up a little with how desperately saddened she was for me.

"Its not your fault mom.. i was just delt a shitty hand of cards." My words were muffled in her shoulder.

She was quiet for a moment before she decided to speak. "Im going to fix this. I promise... just remember that i love you and you can always come to me because i will always be here." Her voice croaked at the end.

My mother.. Beta wife.. always thinking she can fix everything. Even my own mateship.

"I know mom." I kissed her cheek, smiling as i leaned away to snag a piece of bacon from the plates. "Where is dad at? Its saturday." Looking around, i didnt even see his newspaper lying around.

She frowned slightly as she flipped another round of bacon, the grease sizzling and popping, filling the air with its smoked goodness. "Your dad had to go talk to Blake about something..." her face still had that hardened look to it so i didn't push her on it.

I could hear rustling upstairs.. one thing about being a wolf is that you can hear everything.. we had an awful problem with that when Nic hit Puberty.

Since nic was awake, i decided its time to question him before i went insane. I was surprised he was up considering he came in at 2am and it was still early but.. the smell of bacon will wake this entire house up every time.

"Im gonna go check on Nic. Are you staying home today mom?" I felt something cold at my chest and touched it curiously before remembering the locket Zaryn gave me. I smiled to myself.

"Actually Nova.. i have to run some errands outside of the pack today. I'll be going to human territory so i wont be back for a little while. Ill leave breakfast out just put it away if there is any left" Her eyes never met mine. What could she have to do in the no mans land on a saturday?