Nova

The sun was bright on my face and birds were chirping outside my window. a beautiful song that made me fantasize I was in a meadow, surrounded by wildflowers, breathing in the fresh cool spring air that wasnt to come for anoother two seasons, as i lay, basking in the sun.

Wild. Carefree.

That's how i wished i could be... A carefree seventeen year old shewolf with no problems.

But currently I was anything but that. The damning affect this mateship had on me from the very beginning was proof of that. The nights I cried in my room at the pack house.. the days i went without showers, just to lie in my bed and fester in my own misery..

But that part of my life was over now. This was a new chapter.. the old memories i have of myself could become a reoccuring mess, but I'd do anything to make sure it didn't happen that way.

After Nic had left on his mission, I decided to eat breakfast first then have a shower and devise a plan. Since i couldn't actually see Zaryn, I was going to write him a letter and put it in our spot in the tree house for him to retrieve. I would check it daily until i discovered a reply because not knowing the answers to my quesrions was eating at me.. and when I say that, i truly mean it. My nervousness anxiety had me chewing my nails over not knowing the truth.. i know how i am supposed to feel.. and i know how i feel. Both of which are black and white, opposite of each other. I just need truths.

My heart was fine.. for now.. but the gut feeling someone was conspiring, that main someone being Grace, had my stomach in one huge knot. Why else would she be so confident of Zaryn marking her? He needed to know this as well. Its one thing to lie but its another to play a game with it.

I wonder if..... if this has anything to do with...

Nahh... she couldnt be that manipulative..

Could she?

I took the time today and actually dried and straightened my hair. something i haven't done in a while.. i even put a little makeup on and picked out a pretty black and floral patterned sun dress that curved along with my chest, a pair of black flip flops to match, letting my locket hang out over my dress down to my breastbone.

I felt like looking nice today...

i had a new found source of energy. Perhaps because my stomach wasnt in a state if turmoil, just anxiety. and my heart didn't feel like pieces of it had started to push through my organs, begging to purge out of my skin.

I sat at my vanity all fixed up, my hand flourishing out letters rhythmically against the wooden surface as I wrote my letter to Zaryn. I had to make sure i put every detail that Nic told me in it. Nic didnt say for me not to tell, but i still felt like i was betraying my brother... he trusted me enough to tell me but at the same time if Grace has something planned, Zaryn needed to know.

Thats my mate she is screwing with regardless if I wanted to be with him or not.. which i dont.Not right now.

Shrugging it off, i ended the letter with a command to burn it after he read it. I didnt want this information loose.. out there somewhere for someone to discover under devious pretenses. Not yet. Nic would kill me if he found out i told Zaryn. As far as he knows, i don't and wont communicate with him.

I sealed the envelope of the unique stationary I've never gotten to use until today, and tucked the letter betraying my loyalty to my brother in my dress pocket for safe keeping.

Deciding it was time to get out of the house despite how tired i was, i chugged a glass of sweet tea for the extra caffeine and headed out toward the pack house in search of Deacon. He acted so strangely last night and said he needed to talk to me... He didn't get all ... weird, until he saw the necklace. Which meant he had to know where it came from and he was disappointed. It took me a while to pick up on that seeing as how i figured the scent masking trick took care of the scent factor. But i didnt think about the fact perhaps he had already seen the necklace before.. I dont know how or why.. but i just felt like he knew.

Thinking on that, i pulled the necklace over my head and slipped it in my pocket with the letter that seemed to weigh a metaphoric ton. No use in getting Deacon all ralled up because obviously he hates to see me waste my time with Z. He doesn't want me to get hurt and i understood... but he needed to trust that I know what i am doing.

Outside, the warmth i expected wasn't there. The sun that had shown brightly had hidden behind grey clouds filled with moisture. The air blew softly, taking the heat from the suns previous rays along with it. Overcast and slightly windy.. A good kind of day. My lips drew up at the ends forming a soft smile as i moved about the breeze, the wind gently blowing my straight hair.

Its amazing how even the smallest of things can make you happy.

Once at the pack house, i ventured into the always unlocked front door and through the barren foyer. There were always usually wolves around.. getting food or even watching TV in the den. Not today.

Rounding the den, i climbed the stairs up to the third floor and went directly to Deacon's room. There was no scent of him.. not even a lingering one. As i came back down the polished wooden stairs, i saw that some pack members had come inside the front. I asked the other wolves if they had seen him, the females of which who were excited to see me, pressing their cheeks into mine upon greeting me... it had my wolf puffed out with gratitude. We had a lot of females on our side now, wanting to be in their rightful future Luna's good graces.. and because they knew it was wrong for me to endure what I have. But none of them had seen Deacon.

I left out the side door of the mud room, looking all around, sniffing the air for his scent. i decided to try the woods near my favorite spot. He liked to run and hunt in those woods a lot because of the uphill forrest. He says its more of a challenge.

Instead of going straight through the woods, walking the path i always took to get to my spot, i veered off the dirt road that led to the path to the right which also led towards Alpha Blake's family home and a few others. The road stopped at a dead end, nothing but forrest beyond but i knew Deacon would start there if he did in fact shft and want to run or hunt.