Nova

My eyes closed as a sudden breeze enveloped my body, serenity all around me in the calms of nature.

I pictured his face in my mind, the perfection of every detail, every angle. He was someone I've always felt drawn to, even as pups.

The agonizing conversation Zaryn and I had moments ago left me reeling, questions in my mind flowing rampantly. Feeling so helpless when it came to my own destiny was more than I could bear. With that in mind, I decided it was time for my second shift ever.

My wolf was pacing in the back of my mind, wanting to release her aggression. Seeing Grace and hearing the foul words spout from her lips didn't sit well with my wolf. All she could think about was chasing after the pregnant she-wolf and taking something away from her, just like she did to us, but I wouldn't let her. It was hard, but I managed to keep my wolf reigned in, letting her know I was going to let her out to play.

Zaryn's words had left hope inside me.

I won't mark her..

Words that would make any female smile, but I shouldn't even be in this predicament in the first place. I should be the one with his mark already.

Yes, there was hope, but the aching inside my heart was slowly being replaced by anger. Anger at him for wanting me to wait, his unspoken implication - to watch that female's belly grow while I wait. The wolf in me wanted him because he is ours. She would wait, but she would also have taken out the competition. The human in me, that part was angry that Zaryn would even insinuate that I just watch and see how things go, wait for him. I won't let my wolf out to take Grace down, but I will not be a back-up plan either.

I know he couldn't help what had happened between them but I still felt angry.

Anger for that she wolf who trapped my male unknowingly.

I couldn't be this sad female, showing my broken heart to everyone, hiding my face behind a curtain of chestnut hair when I had nothing to be ashamed of.

It wasn't my shame.

It was his.

It was hers.

I couldn't hide anymore. I had to face my family and friends eventually.

My parents came to my room religiously in the two weeks I had locked myself away. They knew I was inside, but I couldn't bring myself to face them. I didn't want their pity.

My father, the Alpha's Beta, Alpha's right hand wolf, he was respected by the pack and now instead of a time to rejoice, he was shamed by the Alpha's son's indiscretions against his own mate - my dad's only daughter. I didn't want to see the sadness in my parent's eyes. I didn't want to see disappointment or pity either.

I remember just holding a pillow over my face, quieting my sobs as my parent's voices tried coaxing me out of the room. They eventually gave up, knowing I wanted to be alone. I haven't seen anyone in these past two weeks.

Other than Deacon.

And now Zaryn.

I needed to get ahold of the reckoning heartache I felt, mend my shattered soul back together with this new found contempt I held for this intruding she-wolf and her family. My mate didn't shun me. He wanted me. He was being forced to do the right thing. But it is his pup, of course he would want to be in that pups life. The pup would be half him, half of his Alpha blood - and half of her Alpha blood; A strong bloodline.

A wolf has strong instincts when it comes to their young pups. I couldn't blame Zaryn for this anymore because he's an expecting Alpha parent. He wouldn't just give up a pup.

I could blame him for wanting me either. I'm his mate. I couldn't blame him entirely for anything because he never knew I was his and he never sensed Grace's heat. There were far more factors playing in this than I had originally thought. I can't just blame everyone..

But I could blame her for a lot.

She ruined any chance of my happiness. I won't stand by waiting to see if she miscarries or not. I won't be that desperate scorned female. I couldn't stand by and watch him have a pup with another female, waiting in the wings for him. I just won't do that.

But my soul wants his.. Desperately.

My mind and my soul are at war with one another on this and my wolf was on a whole other level.

I can't think about this anymore, I just can't. It will destroy me more than I already am. I'm too young to go through this kind of soul shattering heartbreak. The one I'm made for, being forced to father a pup he never meant to create. But he did help create it and now it's his responsibility.

Being angry would be my only saving grace.

It would save my heart from shriveling and my soul from crumbling.

I don't want to feel So fragile, so breakable; hiding from the eyes of curious wolves.

This wasn't my fault. I'm an innocent bystander in all of this.

Watching the sunlight sway through the trees, bouncing off the water as it cascaded over each stone jutting from the surface, I felt the tears dry on my cheeks from the cool breeze. There would be no more crying.

Not today.

I stood, sliding my dress off my shoulders so that it pooled around my feet. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes, standing bare in the secluded clearing of my secret meadow at the cliffs as I concentrated on my energy. Focusing.

A strong current rolled through my mind. It was my wolf surfacing , ready to take over. A piercing cry ripped through my throat as the snapping and shifting of bones slowly began to give way to the wolf's body as she came barrelling through - a happy image of her in my mind with her tongue lolling out to the side. She was happy to be let out of the cage.