I nodded in response.

"Well when i came back, I killed my father, taking over title of Alpha. I went through what Zaryn did. My skin side became weak before I had left and my wolf was stronger. His reason for sending me off was my being weak. When i went to train, i built my skin side up to be greater than my wolf. Just like X did. So when I came back.. I was a ruthless killing machine. They all expected me to be but my father thought I would reabsorb my strength, not gain more. X did the same exact thing." His glacier blue eyes shifted down to the table. "I killed him and took over. But while I was gone, before I became stronger, my father sent word to me that Melynn had died. He knew it would break me but didnt know I would try harder to be able to beat him in a challenge. That's what i focused on. After he was dead.. I didnt have a focus anymore. So i began thinking about Melynn." He met my eyes again with regret.

"I turned into a monster, Nova. I killed wolves that had not provoked me. I killed just to taste the blood. My wolf was still so strong from all the strength he took from me when i was weak. No one could be around me. I was uneasy.. always on watch.. assesing. I hated loud noise and gatherings. It set me off. Just like what happened to X. But being leader of a pack.. it began to help me. You see.. when Zaryn went through the turmoil of Grace being pregnant.. his wolf wanting the pup then his skin wanting it, resulting in losing you.. the pup dying then seeing you leave with another Alpha.. he lost it and tried to take himself out. His skin grew weak. His wolf took over and attacked others.. thats when Penelope called for help and I sent Gabriel - because I was there once and so was he. He knew what to do. How to train him.. give him focus. So Zaryn began training every day and eventually became stronger than his wolf without taking the power back, but adding ontop of what he previously had. Doubly strong. More Alpha. Which only meant more agression. How he was able to challenge his father and win. That was his goal after all. Then he wanted to be better for you.. to get you back so he focused on trying to be a good leader, this pack being his responsibility gave him the dictation he needed but it was hard for less dominant wolves to be around. The wolf was uneasy with all the power from both ends and his skin was too strong like me. Im sure there were some deaths on his part that no one spoke of, of wolves who didn't deserve it. He was an animal for the longest. A different person. Two different sides to him."

I think my eyes popped out. He hadn't told me this. No one had. Two different sides?

"Why is his wolf on my side though?" My meek voice chimed.

He rose a finger. "Im getting to that."

I felt my wolf growl at this but i kept the growl inside, not wanting to deterr from the story.

"The pack.. it gave X, who he essentially tranformed into, a purpose. He was no longer zaryn anymore.. he was X. A different wolf. To everyone other than you of course. But he started getting better. More calm. Less feral. But never the same as he used to be. Then you came back. But when you did.. he wanted to prove to you. You brought the old Zaryn back out because he knew your wolf wanted that. That you wanted that. But then destruction started to happen so quickly and everything was put to the side. His mom dying was a big part of that especially after how he treated her.. never getting final words. Then getting that letter from his brother.. and finding out you were pregnant. After the war when you were in the hospital.. before he had almost saw you die.. he had a momentary breaking point until he found out you were going to be okay. But now that everything is settled and you've planned the wedding? He has had time to think on everything.. his mind isn't the same after everything. All the greif.. thinking about how his dead family won't be around to see his family grow... its haunting him. Then you asking him about them? His feelings? It set him off. It was going to happen sooner or later but that caused it to happen sooner. He isnt himself. He's not Zaryn right now. He is X. The ruthless wolf he was after you left. But you are his mate. He doesn't want to hurt you so he isn't going to be as cruel to you as he would another wolf. You are pregnant.. which is why his wolf is submissive to you. His wolf lives on instinct, double the strength or not - he wants to protect you. However the skin side... well, that side has lost his humanity in a way because he hasn't gotten over the pain. Its like a reflex. He is dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde - a double personality. To desensitize him from the pain, the beastly side of him has come out and that side of his skin is more powerful than the wolf even though the wolf still has that extra power when he absorbed it before. But like i said.. his wolf wants to protect you and his pups. X knows this.. but because you are the source of bringing up all the things that has changed him, the death of his family; he blocks the wolf out because he knows the wolf is sensitive to you. He does it because he is able. X is stronger. "

I didn't understand but at the same time i did. My mate possessed two different personalities while in skin form. One that is admirable and one that is more malevolent.

My forehead creased. "So... he is two different skins.."

Maxim sighed, "yes. Zaryn will never be the old zaryn except with you. But because you tried to force him to talk about the things that has triggered him.. X has made his appearance to you and hides his wolf even though he knows that the wolf side needs to have contact with you. It's like he is punishing both of you."

I rubbed my head in confusion. "How did you overcome it?"

A small smirk formed. "I was happy about my fathers death and I thought my mate had cheated on me. I probably would have relapsed after the war once i discovered everything if it wasn't for Eden." His eyes met hers and a ghost of a smile played at her naturally rose colored lips. "But I was able to fuse both my personalities long ago. Now I live peacefully with the good and the bad combined. It was hard work on my part but I'm not the wolf I was when I first met Melynn. I am however able to function with both sides. I have my moments but I never go into a frenzy anymore." He explained.

I pushed a lock of brown hair behind my ear as my brows creased further. "So can.. can he be saved? Like you?"

Maxim bit his lip before he looked up, staring hard into my desperate pleading eyes. "I believe so. Despite him being X, he will always love you even if he isn't acting like it... but he needs to be forced into talking about what's happened. That's how I overcame my beastly side."

"I tried that." I sighed.

Eden leaned in. "Didnt you say the pups protected you? During a fight?"

"Yes." I nodded, glancing down at my lap. Yet another issue I was facing.

"You said Daisy said you are basically a super healer right?" Her brow arched.

Another nod.

"Well the-" her words were cut off as her eyes went black all over, covering the whites of her eyes. Her mouth fell open and Maxim was at her side immediately, holding her steady.

The moon was telling her something.

A million things Maxim said had been running through my head. Basically Zaryn is two different skins. At all times. He is zaryn with me but X with others... only now all the events that have happened.. my pushing him, has caused him to block Zaryn and the wolf out and he has essentially become X . His poweful wolf submits to me and not him because im pregnant...

It made no sense but at the same time, made perfect sense.

Zaryn has two skin sides. X.... and Zaryn. Then there's his ultra dominant wolf.

It was all the loss. The loss of pack members. Of his brother. His mother.. and almost me and his dad. It was the wedding and the pups.. thinking about how his family wouldnt be here to see this.. everything had been weighing on his shoulders which was why he never brought it up. And then i did.. making X come out full force.. becoming angry but at the same time loving me the best way he knew how.. by staying away. Pushing the wolf back because he knew the wolf would relent and give in to me... as much as he loves me, he was angry at me. The anger for leaving him.. angry i almost died because of my own stupidity.. and angry for bringing it all up. It was a punishment for me but also a self preservation for his mind.

His savage monster side didn't have the clarity to think about loss.

And i tried to make him do that.

To think about it all..

But Maxim said he needed to be forced to talk about it... maybe.. forced in a different way?

"Eden what is it?" Maxim's tone was low with a slight panic as Eden's eyes rolled back to green and she inhaled sharply, her gaze darting to mine.