Pushing myself up out of the water, I was met with a broad muscular back sporting bloody scratch marks all over a few feet away.. Some of them a little deep. He was washing his hair, the muscles in him rippling..

"Oh my.." I whispered, shocked that i had done that.. That my wolf had done that. My canines slid out, my jaw aching to mark him and I immediately turned around, hiding my face as I poured body wash into my palm, scrubbing his scent out of my body and my hair, focusing on my stomach. His voice came from behind, closer than he was. "I can feel when you are looking at me. Its like a surge of electricity spikes through my system.. Everywhere your eyes land." His voice was strained.

"What did you "oh my" about?"

Turning around to face him, my canines had hidden themselves back inside my gums. I looked up into his sky blue eyes. "Your back.. Its pretty bad. I'm sorry."

He let out a breath of laughter and smiled. "I like them. Trust me. I know they are there."

He reached out but I took that moment to duck under water, washing the remnants of his scent off my body along with the soap.

I let myself pop back up, heading to the shore to climb out. "Nova. I... I want you to know..."

Turning around, I held my hand up. "It's okay Zaryn. You don't have to explain. I know it was a mistake. I know we have to stay away from each other." I couldn't meet his eyes.

"What?? No Nova. I don't want to stay away from you! You weren't a mistake.. Our wolves took over sure.. But it wasn't a mistake. I.. I care about you... If Grace miscarries I want to be able to gain your love... I wan-"

"And what if she doesn't Zaryn? What if she delivers?" I glared up at him, pain in my eyes.

His eyes lingered down my body for a moment before they fell to the water between us. "I told you.. If she delivers I'm not marking her. Regardless of if you will take me or not. I don't know what is going to happen in the future but I know if the pup lives.. I'll be a father. I won't be with Grace but I'll be a father until he has to go away at ten years old.. Then he will come to me every summer. Alone. I don't know if you will want me or not.." He trailed off, eyes meeting mine. "But I'll leave that option open for you.. For you to decide. I know its asking a lot.. So I won't ask. We can just see ... The moon isn't so cruel as to keep us apart. I honestly believe inside that the pup won't make it.. Part of me hopes she does miscarry as awful as I sound.... But my wolf wants the pup. Its weird being on opposite ends but my wolf is parental..."

We shared a moment earlier, just he and I.. We pretended like nothing else existed earlier and it was nice. But now reality is crashing down on top of us.. Squeezing my air supply along with it.

Reality is a snake.. A snake with thick coils big enough to wrap around your insides, squeezing until you have nothing left.

"Nova I don't want to pretend like this didn't happen.. You mean so much to me.. To my wolf. We do not care for Grace. She's merely an incubator. My wolf wants you. I want you. We can spend time together at least.. Just us."

I shook my head. "No we can't Zaryn. You saw what happened when we are alone.. They take over. They possess us and we don't have a say in what happens. We could wind up doing a lot worse and then what? We can't. We just can't. As much as I feel the need to be around you, I can't. It will just hurt in the end... And you need to get over seeing Deacon as a threat. He's your brother and my best friend! I will be friends with him. Tell your wolf he needs to stop. Do you think its fair to tell me I can't have anyone? That I can't have my friend to talk to? While I'm forced to watch you parade your whore around like a show pony.." I was getting angry, my wolf was fighting with me to claim him, taking her out of the equation but I was winning. Barely.

I stepped out into the warm air. The sun was higher overhead , it was probably about 9:00 now. I let the air dry me, careful not to touch any of his belongings which would hold his scent.

Twigs snapped behind me, I could feel his eyes watching me.. Tingles from my back, down to my legs and back up. "Nova. I can't help but to feel that way. I know its not fair to you.. None of this is.. but its safer for you. Trust me."

"Just stop it! Give me something! Anything! Give me my friend back!" I cried out, lashing out at him with my fists on his chest. His hands latched around my wrists but I jerked them free. A warning growl rumbled from his chest and I just fell down, crying on the grass. His knees popped as he knelt over me, hand rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry."

There was pain in his voice. But not as much pain as there was in my heart.

~~~

After my outburst we got dressed, he had brought some of my clothes along with us so I wouldn't have to wear his back. I discarded my ruined panties into the woods and pulled on my jeans and T-shirt, no bra , underwear or shoes allotted. Good thing it was a T-shirt I was wearing.

I asked him how we got here and he pointed through the trees above us where a canoe sat behind the brush. Helping him carry it out, we set it in the water and climbed in. We set out toward the pack lands, each of us rowing simultaneously. I don't know how he managed to bring me here last night, using both by himself. It was hard work.

I watched his muscles ripple with each stroke as we switched from side to side. His skin goosed wherever my eyes lingered so I removed them, focusing my attention to the task at hand until I remembered something..

"Zaryn how is Grace Nic's mate? Her father is an alpha.."

He shrugged before letting out a breath. "I don't know... I need to talk to my dad about that but my guess is that there's something either her or her father isn't telling us.. Then again he could have been a member of the pack who challenged the previous alpha and won, making him the new alpha. He wouldn't have alpha blood though so the probability of him winning with an Alpha are slim to none... I don't know. I've thought about it I'm just confused." He sighed tiredly.

"Oh. Okay." I whispered. There was something there, I just didn't know what it could be..

We were silent the rest of the way, deep in our own thoughts. An hour later we were coming near the pack house. He asked for my paddle and I gave it to him, his body never turned my way. With both oars he rowed us into a hollowed part of the bank a little ways away from the pack house and got out, tying it off to a tree jutting out of the bank.

I was glad he docked us somewhere away from prying eyes..

He reached for my hand and I gave it to him, feeling those tingles shoot through my body. As soon as my bare feet hit land, I took my hand, keeping myself from going crazy from his touch.. All I could think about were his hands on me... Lips on mine.. His nimble fingers..

"Nova" he snapped his fingers in front of my face making me snap out of my thoughts.

"What.." My eyes widened a bit.

"Did you hear anything I said? " a slight frown between his eyes had me shaking my head no."I said I want you to promise me something.."

He wanted me to promise him something? I scoffed at the audacity ..

"Nova its not what you think... I just want you to promise me you'll start eating. I.. I think you're beautiful regardless but... It worries me seeing you this thin." His eyes met mine and I felt like I was drowning in emotion.. The big blue waves being his eyes.. So much sincerity. So much honesty.. He stepped into me and I couldnt move. I felt like I was stuck to the ground. His lips pressed gently onto mine, hands approaching my sides before I stepped away from him, breaking the kiss.

"I have to go" my voice broke and my eyes found the ground appealing.

"Promise me. That you'll eat. At least try. Please." He rasped, voice thick with desire.

I nodded, turning away. "Goodbye Zaryn."

"No. I'll see you later. Never say goodbye." His voice was deep.. More emotion playing through. I trudged onward without looking back. The further away I got from him, the colder my skin became. The muscles that were once relaxed in his presence became coiled around my insides again as I thought about the things we just did while everything was going on..

I can't do that again.. I can't let myself be near him. It wasn't my fault waking up next to him.. But now I know what happens if my wolf is near him .. Smelling him.. Knowing he has duties to another makes her throw me to the back and take lead over my body.. My own skin side is supposed to be mine.

Power of the mate bond..

I came through the trees, noting no one was outside on this side of the house and ran into the side door of the mudroom. Safe and sound. No one saw...

After I take another shower and scrub my skin.. I need to find my brother. I need to talk to him.

Then I need to find Deacon. Fuck Zaryn and his requests. His wolf can kiss my ass.

Its funny actually how my life was once a bright shining thing.. Then after my birthday it became a tragedy..

A sad warped tradgedy.